My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
