Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
