Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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