call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
