you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
