Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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