my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You're like the curious george of whores
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
