It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
