I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
