Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
