So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
