Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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