I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
