Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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