White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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