I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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