She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
