Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
