This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
