is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
