How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
