please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
