How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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