i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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