I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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