we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think your dad took our porno
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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