no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
