I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I still have a little drunk in my system
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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