so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
