so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
