are you still at the devil's house?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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