I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
