just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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