READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
