Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
