i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
