I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
