He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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