WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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