sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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