In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
