No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
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