ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
