so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
