Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
