I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
