I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
