I wish I could teleport
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
