i don't like sucking hair
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
