Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
