shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
